Dear Elite, If I didn’t know that school administrators and healthcare professionals were actual heroes, I might find them pretty fucking annoying. I might even let them know about it. I might say things like “I have a week to sign the reenrollment contract? It says I will agree with the administration under penalty of…

Dear Elite, At 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning I woke up with a fairly intense pain in the center of my chest. The feeling was not one to which I’m unaccustomed; there is some sort of ligament there attaching at the sternum that has taken to popping; it’s a musculoskeletal phenomenon, not a cardiac emergency;…

“ . . . for he who always hopes for the best becomes old, deceived by life, and he who is always prepared for the worst becomes old prematurely; but he who has faith, retains eternal youth.” – Soren Kierkegaard Dear Elite, Sometimes the randomness of the universe hatches a series of events that seem…

Well elite, the winter solstice and the shortest days of the year are behind us. Goodbye Christmas/New Year’s depression and angst! We’re on the way to springtime happiness! March Madness! Spring Training! The golf tournament that shall not be named! The only problem is the goddam winter in between and all its mundane every-day-ness. How…

Dear Elite, congratulations. You did it. You made Christmas your bitch, or if you’re like me, you suffered through, largely avoided emotional catastrophe, and limped out the other side of the Christmas wormhole, scarred, relieved, still with a life to live.